Raising Concerns

All too often, parents become emotionally upset at a perceived injustice toward their son or daughter by, "the coach." As a high school athletic director, I have seen and heard my share of this primal instinct. All parents have a natural drive to protect their kids from any injustice, but when it comes to athletics most go about it all wrong or not at all. Before I offer a direction to proceed, let’s look at what one can and can not control.

Parents can not control: 1) who the school has chosen as the coach 2) how an athlete is developed 3) the coach’s evaluations 4) how playing time is relegated 5) who comes off the bench 6) the after game talk or any thing related to coaching. COACHES COACH.

Parents can control: 1) their attitude 2) tongue 3) support of their athlete and 4) the method/timing of raising concerns. If the first three are done in a positive and uplifting way, then the concerns should be received positively as well. Like most everything in life, timing is crucial. Therefore, never approach a coach after a loss and never out of the blue, as you may find those concerns falling on deaf ears.

Most parents tend to view circumstances involving their athletes through colored glasses. Coaches, in most cases, have no parental connection to the team and therefore should be more objective. However, if this is not the case and intervention seems necessary, I have always advised parents to seek resolution through the following chain of command: 1) parent to coach, 2) parent to athletic director and lastly 3) parent to principal.

Benjamin Franklin wrote, "The doors of wisdom are never shut." As members of a small community like a team, adults should be able to communicate with each other to resolve issues. If you find the doors closed to your concerns, then wisdom may not be present.